Friday, April 2, 2010

10 weeks


I have been away from home for 10 weeks and 1 day. At times I wonder what I am even doing here. Shouldn’t I be in school? Shouldn’t I be walking in the wilderness doing nothing but reading the Bible? Shouldn’t I be leading Homeless ministry. Shouldn’t I be enjoying myself playing Frisbee? Shouldn’t I be studying to be a pastor or a doctor or a missionary or a film maker? Shouldn’t I be working to pay off college loans? What am I doing!!!

Then I remember those words, “Come follow me.”

Then I remember Isaiah 55:8,” For my thoughts are not your thoughts neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord”

10 weeks ago I was ready. I was prepared to either have a place to sleep or to live on the streets. Here I am 71 days later sitting on the same spot on the same bed that was provided to me by the generosity and love of a people, a church, and a family of believers that follow you Lord. We are very different. We speak differently, we drive differently, we eat differently, but we are the same.
The love of Christ is in us and we are united.

Here I will stay until God leads me on.

2 Peter 3: 8-9,” Do not forget this one thing dear friends, with the Lord a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years is like a day, the lord is not slow in keeping his promises he is patient with us, not wanting anyone to perish but everyone to come to repentance. “

Wrestling with God

(Journal entry from 3/19/10)

I wanted to leave and have no contact with family or friends.

He wanted me to let them know I was alright.

I wanted to give all my clothes away.

He wanted to clothe me with his love.

I wanted to lay down outside and awake outside.

He wanted me to lie down and awake in the fellowship of brothers in Christ.

I wanted to eat out of the garbage.

He wanted me to eat with people who used to be dirtier than garbage but have been cleansed with your love.

I wanted not to shower.

He wanted me to feel clean physically and spiritually.

I wanted to go to Haiti.

He wanted me to send food, clothes, and medicine to Haiti.

I wanted to be dependent on God.

He is only waiting for me to let go.

I wanted to be homeless.

He wanted me to have a home with 40 brothers in Christ. The Home of the Nazarene